RESTLESSNESS AND INSECURITY
It was this restlessness, this insecurity, perhaps, that drove me further and further afield in my exploring expeditions.
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Then I tried to preserve myself from the horror that was coming upon me by regarding it as a rigorous punishment of human selfishness.
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A horror of this great darkness came on me.
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IS TO BE IN ONE’S ELEMENT
Here I was more in my element…
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I came out of this age of ours, this ripe prime of the human race, when Fear does not paralyse and mystery has lost its terrors.
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FEELINGS / GRATITUDE AND A MUTUAL TENDERNESS
…even when mind and strength had gone, gratitude and a mutual tenderness still lived on in the heart of man.
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He lapsed into the silence of reminiscence.
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I free-associated the way Dr. Strauss told me to do when I remember my dreams. Think about the dream and just (1) let my mind wander until (2) other thoughts come up in my mind. I keep on doing that until my mind (3) goes blank. Dr. Strauss says that it means (4) I’ve reached a point (5) where my subconscious is trying to block my conscious from remembering. It’s a wall between the present and the past. Sometimes the wall stays up and sometimes it breaks down and I can remember what’s behind it.
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IS TO STICK / IN THE MIND
“He forgot already,” said Frank. “It don’t stick.”
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Now that I was compelled to think about it, reading was something that just came to me, as learning to fasten the seat of my union suit without looking around, or achieving two bows from a snarl of shoelaces.
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CAN BE LOST AND CAN RETURN
There were nights, of course, when my reason returned at once and I rearranged the curtains and presently slept.
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A WEAK EXPRESSION OF A FEELING
The shadow of my rebuke was more than a shadow.
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TO SPOIL THE IMPRESSION OF SMTH
No ambition, no honors tainted the fanciful future.
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This was, at best, annoying; at worst, heartrending…
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The maintenance chief, remembering his need to get to the airport speedily, felt his anger rise.
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Only he was aware that for the space of seconds he had been berserk, insane.
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CAN AROUSE A LATENT SAVAGERY IN A PERSON
Airline delays seemed to arouse a latent savagery in those affected by them.
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Mel curbed his irritation.
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Again a pause, as if Roberta was weighing whether or not she could get away with a smart answer…
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ARE LIVING BEINGS / THEY CAN INTRUDE, COME…
For the first time a feeling, not of fear but doubt, intruded on his reasoning. Fear might come later, but not yet.
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Gwen’s questioning made him vaguely uncomfortable. It revived memories he would soon forget.
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The date was seared - with self reproach and anguish - in his memory.
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| CAN (OR CANNOT) BE ERASED FROM MEMORY
It was then it happened: the nightmarish sound which those who heard it wished that they had not, yet afterward would not be able to erase from memory.
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IS A WAVE / SWEEPING OVER SOMEBODY
A wave of physical pleasure and contentment (Was the right word euphoria? Cindy wondered) swept over her.
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IS MATTER / IT CAN BE ACCUMULATED
The events of tonight affecting her personally, coupled with her accumulated distress and weariness of weeks, had proved a final crushing defeat.
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Once more, with a second's anguish, Demerest thought of Gwen, then ruthlessly cleared his mind, concentrating on what must be decided next.
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